2022

Today is Tuesday. Usually at this time, I'm preparing to summarize everything and let everyone going out of the class. Coincidentally, it should be the final class today, but as it is a replacement holiday, so, there is no formal final class, and the final exam also will be in online mode, so last week should be THE DAY, but it's not. There are so many things I want to write now. There are so many memorable moments (for me) this semester. There are so many things that I need to be grateful and thankful. But, as all the things inside the world, we can only do what we supposed to do. We can only say within the time given. We can only act for the things that happened in the moment. Lost opportunities? The moment has sailed away, with all the emotions. I can only give advises on 2-3 things, as I won't be writing long (I hope). First, please, do not take things for granted. I know, grades are important, super important, BUT, please acknowledge that you learnt so many things this...

This is a new start for me. It's a long story, and I don't believe people will fully understand what had happened, or even after hearing my stories, I don't really believe that people will be on my side. That's the price of unknown things. That's the price of secret. At first, I thought, I can be a new me, or maybe somebody that even I don't recognize. Maybe the world just need a person who are nice, a person who can shield everyone from the reality, a person who is a role model. As I walk through the days, I know I can't do that. I can't face my own self in the future, if I tried to be somebody else. This is a package: an eccentric, emotional, aggressive, passionate and no-nonsense person.That's me. I teach with a purpose. I know people will not understand. Most of them thought that the benchmark is high. Or the notion, "everyone should already know this and that". I'm not. I truly believe that these students need the full guidance, as...

Adakah sebenarnya aku terlambat 2 tahun lepas? Aku lambat membalas jasa ibuku sendiri? Apakah sudah terlewat untuk aku menyesal? Atau mungkin semua ini sudah terlambat? Gunakanlah masa yang anda ada, sebelum anda tidak mampu lagi berbuat apa-apa. Tapi, sebenarnya dalam pelbagai situasi, kita juga takkan mampu untuk menyesal. Dalam keadaan terbaik, kita sendiri pun sudah cuba melakukan yang kita mampu. Segala kesilapan, atau kelambatan, itu masih lagi dalam daya kita sendiri. Apa kita mampu lakukan segalanya dengan sempurna? Kesempurnaan bukan satu persoalan yang paling penting di sini. Yang paling penting, apa yang kita rasa. Menyesal? Terperangkap dalam emosi tak berpenghujung? Apapun, kita sendiri yang tanggung.

Giving theme like this is such a spontaneous thing to do. Relationship, I can go on about this topic for so long. I always give advice and stories to anyone about this. I believe that I have a unique experience, throughout my life. Some of the experience, I’m not proud of it. But, in any way, this is the thing that we should cherish. This is also a relationship, between an educator and the students. Most of the time, it will only be for a small portion of moment. Yes, like studying for grade, keeping up with your lecturers is also, only for the grade. For those who can keep up with this relationship, even after the subject, or even after not getting good grades, I salute you. You are the sincere one. Thank you.

This is the second time that I miscalculated. I thought I can manage to be like before. Hence, before, I can write every week, without any delay. And, double posts per week. Maybe, it’s been too long for me. The last time, only the student writes. Maybe, I’m becoming rusty in disciplining myself. One of the proudest aspects of my life is this. Sticking to timing, be punctual, be early. So, this is the second bonus marks (for timing), for everyone. I can see that the quality is not as before. And now, I really write it at the last minute, every week. New year, new resolution? Nah, it is just the same routine.